What is EMDR and How Does It Work? (Including Virtual EMDR)
By Kaylan White, LMHC | Talk Shop Therapy | Florida
If you've been researching therapy options, chances are EMDR has come up. Maybe a friend mentioned how powerful it was or you read about it in an article about trauma. Whatever brought you here, welcome! By the end of this post, you’ll have a clear and honest understanding of what EMDR is, how it works, who it helps, and whether it can be done virtually.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a structured, evidence-based therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing memories and experiences that have become "stuck" so that they no longer trigger the same emotional intensity when recalled.
EMDR was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Dr. Francine Shapiro and has since become one of the most researched and widely recommended treatments for trauma. It is endorsed by the World Health Organization (WHO), the American Psychological Association (APA), and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, among others. Despite its clinical credibility, EMDR can sound a little mysterious at first. Let's break it all down.
How Does EMDR Therapy Work?
EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation which is typically side-to-side eye movements, taps, tones, or a combination of the three, while a person briefly focuses on a distressing memory. This process helps the brain reprocess the memory so it loses its emotional charge and becomes integrated in a more adaptive (and helpful) way, rather than stored as an unresolved wound waiting to be triggered.
Here's a simple way to think about it:
When something overwhelming happens (especially in childhood), the brain sometimes cannot fully process the experience in the moment. It gets stored incompletely as if it were frozen in time, along with all the emotions, beliefs, and body sensations that were present when it happened.
Later in life, even something small and seemingly unrelated such as a tone of voice, a look, or a challenging situation can activate that frozen memory and flood you with feelings that seem disproportionate to what is actually happening in the moment. You’re not being "too sensitive." You have an unprocessed memory doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you. It’s just not doing it in the best or most helpful way.
EMDR helps the brain go back and finish processing what it could not complete before. Once processed, the memory doesn't disappear, but it loses its grip. You can recall it without being hijacked by it.
What Happens in an EMDR Session?
EMDR is structured in eight phases, but sessions don't feel clinical or robotic. Here's a general sense of what the process looks like:
Phase 1 — History and Treatment Planning We spend time getting to know your history, identifying what you'd like to work on, and making sure EMDR is a good fit for you. There's no rushing into processing before you're ready. This is an extremely valuable part of the process, so we spend a good bit of time here.
Phase 2 — Preparation Before any processing begins, we build a toolkit of stabilization and grounding skills. You'll never be sent into difficult material without resources to help you stay regulated. Safety comes first, always. It is my role as a clinician to keep you within your “window of tolerance” so that processing is not too distressing or overwhelming. I take this part of the process very seriously as stabilization and grounding goes beyond EMDR and therapy in general.
Phase 3-6 — Assessment and Processing This is the heart of EMDR. We identify a specific memory or experience to work on, along with the negative belief it created about yourself (for example, "I am not safe" or "I am not enough") and the positive belief you'd like to move toward. Then, using bilateral stimulation, we begin processing. I'll guide you through sets of eye movements or taps while you hold the memory lightly in mind. You don't have to talk through every detail as your brain does most of the work. How cool is it that your brain already knows exactly what it needs for healing!
Phase 7 — Closure Every session ends with grounding and stabilization, whether or not processing feels complete. You'll always leave feeling oriented and settled with an understanding of what to expect throughout the week before our next session.
Phase 8 — Reevaluation At the start of subsequent sessions, we check in on how the previous processing has integrated and where to go next.
Does EMDR Work for More Than PTSD?
Yes. While EMDR was originally developed to treat PTSD, research has expanded to support its effectiveness for anxiety, depression, grief, phobias, shame, low self-esteem, and the effects of relational or developmental trauma.
This is important! Especially for high-functioning women who might not yet identify with the word "trauma" but carry the weight of years of emotional invalidation, impossible standards, or growing up too fast.
You don't need a dramatic single event to benefit from EMDR. Many of my clients come in with what is sometimes called "small t" trauma: the accumulation of experiences that were consistently painful, dismissive, or overwhelming.
EMDR is particularly effective for:
Childhood emotional neglect or invalidation
Growing up in a home with a narcissistic or emotionally unpredictable parent
Perfectionism and chronic shame rooted in early experiences
Anxiety that feels disproportionate to current circumstances
Patterns of self-doubt, people-pleasing, or emotional shutdown
Grief and loss
Experiences of emotional, psychological, or relational abuse
Can EMDR Be Done Virtually?
Yes! EMDR can be done effectively via telehealth. Virtual EMDR has been shown in research to be as effective as in-person EMDR for most clients. Virtual EMDR can be even more effective than in-person EMDR for many clients due to the comfort and regulation of the client’s home space (this may include a room they feel calm/safe in, a blanket that is comforting, the presence of a pet such as cat or dog they co-regulate with).
This is one of the questions I get most often and I want to be straightforward: virtual EMDR works. It's not a lesser version of in-person EMDR, it's a different delivery method that, for many clients, is equally (if not more) effective and significantly more accessible.
How Does Virtual EMDR Work?
In a virtual EMDR session, bilateral stimulation is delivered through a screen-based platform where you watch a ball or light move back and forth, replicating the eye movements used in traditional in-person EMDR, while you connect with your therapist via a secure video platform.
Here's what a virtual EMDR session with me typically looks like:
We connect via a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform
Before processing begins, I'll walk you through how the eye movement platform works: you'll watch a moving ball travel side to side on your screen, which delivers the same bilateral stimulation used in in-person sessions
Processing happens in real time, just as it would in person: you hold the memory or feeling lightly in mind while following the movement on screen and we pause to check in between sets
I'm with you the entire time, guiding the session and monitoring how you're doing
Every session ends with grounding so you feel settled before we close
Many clients actually find virtual sessions easier — they're in their own space, which can feel safer and more regulated than a new environment. Because the eye movement platform replicates in-person bilateral stimulation so closely, there's no compromise in the quality of the processing itself.
Is Virtual EMDR as Effective as In-Person EMDR?
Research supports that virtual EMDR produces outcomes comparable to in-person EMDR for most clients. A 2020 study published in the Journal of EMDR Practice and Research found that telehealth EMDR was effective and well-tolerated, with clients reporting high satisfaction.
That said, virtual EMDR may not be the right fit for everyone. If someone is in acute crisis, has significant dissociation, or lacks a private, stable environment at home, in-person care may be more appropriate. This is something we'd discuss during your consultation and I'll always be honest with you about what I think will serve you best.
Do I Have to Talk About Everything That Happened to Me During EMDR?
No. One of the most common misconceptions about EMDR is that you have to narrate every detail of a painful memory. You don't! EMDR works with the emotional and sensory residue of an experience, not a verbal retelling of it.
This is often a relief for clients who are private, highly analytical, or worried about "having to explain everything." You are always in control of how much you share. The processing happens internally and your brain does the heavy lifting.
How Long Does EMDR Therapy Take?
The length of EMDR therapy varies depending on what you're working on. Some clients experience meaningful shifts in a relatively small number of sessions. Others engage in EMDR as part of longer-term therapy work, particularly when addressing complex or developmental trauma.
There's no universal timeline and I'd be skeptical of anyone who promises you a specific number of sessions before they know your history. What I can tell you is that EMDR tends to produce change more efficiently than traditional talk therapy alone for trauma-related concerns, because it works directly with how memories are stored in the nervous system.
What Is the Difference Between EMDR and Talk Therapy?
Talk therapy processes experiences primarily through language and conscious reflection. EMDR processes experiences at the level of the nervous system, working with how memories are stored somatically and emotionally, not just cognitively.
In practice, this means EMDR can reach material that talk therapy sometimes cannot. You might intellectually understand why you feel the way you do, yet it still sometimes takes over somatically. EMDR helps the felt experience catch up with the intellectual understanding.
In my practice, I integrate EMDR with talk therapy, somatic awareness, and parts work, because healing rarely happens through one door alone.
Who Is EMDR Not Right For?
EMDR is widely applicable, but there are some situations where we'd proceed with extra care or explore other options first:
Active substance use or instability
Significant dissociation that hasn't yet been stabilized
Certain medical conditions affecting the eyes or neurological processing
Acute crisis or safety concerns
None of these are permanent barriers, they're just signals that we'd want to build more foundation before diving into processing. Your safety and stability always come first.
Do You Offer EMDR in Florida?
Yes! I offer EMDR therapy via telehealth to clients located anywhere in the state of Florida. You do not need to be in Naples. As long as you're in Florida, we can work together.
I integrate EMDR into individual therapy sessions as part of a holistic, trauma-informed approach to identity recovery work. EMDR is one of several tools I use alongside somatic therapy, parts work (IFS), narrative therapy, and relational talk therapy. The way these modalities are integrated depends on what you need.
How Do I Get Started with EMDR Therapy in Florida?
If EMDR sounds like something you'd like to explore, the best first step is a free 20-minute consultation call. We'll talk about what's bringing you in, whether EMDR might be a good fit, and what working together would look like.
No pressure or commitment! Just a vibe check :)
Book your free consultation here.
Kaylan White is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) in Florida offering EMDR therapy via telehealth across Florida and in-person walk-and-talk therapy in Naples, FL. She specializes in identity recovery therapy for high-functioning women navigating trauma, burnout, perfectionism, and shame.